What Rhymes with Yuck? Today's Caca Award Winner

When I was a kid, I used to eat Chef Boyardee straight out of the can while devouring Saturday episodes of Sky King, My Friend Flicka, and Fury. There was nothing nutritious about the ravioli and spaghetti, but Chef never made health claims; he was a fat and happy icon, and his food was fun to eat.

Then one day, Corporate advertisers created an unprecedented level of deception when we weren't looking, and lying became an accepted and financially rewarding part of our culture.



This from Hormel:

"In our Principles Platform, a statement that reflects our approach to corporate responsibility, we lay out our commitment to making food safety, food quality, and health and wellness a focus of our products. This commitment is central to our mission of delivering wholesome, nutritious and great-tasting products to our customers and their families."

Really? How about Compleats Kids? Are consumers supposed to consider this stuff nutritious? "Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies, tell me lies, tell me tell me lies..."


Click on the picture to enlarge it.

People, the issue here is the false health claim. To start, Compleats Kids lists three unnatural flavor enhancers and a listing for chicken flavoring. So while there may be no artificial colors added, ask yourself these questions: where do artificial and natural flavorings come from? Are they delivered by stork? Do they grow in the ground, or are they manufactured in a lab somewhere? What exactly are flavorings, and could my children be allergic to them?

Might flavorings be detrimental to one's health? Just so you know, hydrolyzed yeast and MSG are cousins. If you or your children are sensitive to MSG, you must also avoid hydrolyzed yeast. Go here for more information.

I called the Hormel Consumer Hotline not because I expected an answer about the safety of flavorings, but because I wanted to ask about the plastic microwavable container. The instructions direct the consumer to poke holes in the plastic film covering the food and then heat.

Hmmm...is Hormel plastic safe to eat?

Here's what I gleaned from the reluctant Hormel consumer hotline person I will refer to as "J": "Our plastic is BPA-free, and our research team determined there isn't a safety issue. If you're concerned about the plastic, just dump the food in a bowl and heat it that way." J was thrown off balance by my polite questioning; miffed, she hung up in the middle of my thank you and goodbye.

Final question: How can something with no preservatives added have an unrefrigerated shelf life of 16 months or more?

A big cheesy bowl of caca-filled ravioli to the USDA food team responsible for establishing the Healthy Food Guidelines which allow our children to be poisoned.

" Little Lies" Fleetwood Mac, 1987
Muck. Muck rhymes with yuck.