RUNNER-UP: the Zone Perfect Protein Bar
This statement from Abbot Nutrition, makers of the pictured above dirty little boxes o' caca: "We believe a nutrition bar can be more than a nutrition bar." Really... what we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is the Frankenfood industry equivalent of lipstick on a pig. This item is only slightly less toxic than a Little Debbie snack cake.
Ingredients:
Soy Protein Nuggets (Soy Protein Isolate, Tapioca Starch, Salt), Peanut Butter Fudge (Corn Syrup, Peanut Butter, Invert Sugar, Sugar, Palm Kernel Oil, Milk Protein, Soy Lecithin, Xanthan Gum, Carob Seed Gum, Salt, Natural Caramel Color, Beta-Carotene, Vanilla Extract, Peanut Oil With Other Natural Flavors), Chocolate Flavored Coating (Sugar, Fractionated Palm Kernel Oil, Cocoa Powder, Whey Powder, Nonfat Milk Powder, Soy Lecithin, Natural Vanilla Flavor), Corn Syrup, Acacia Gum, Fructose Syrup, Peanut Butter, Peanut Flour, Peanuts.
Less Than 2% of the Following: Glycerine, Soy Protein Isolate, Natural Flavor, Salt.
Vitamins And Minerals: Calcium Phosphate, Ascorbic Acid, d-Alpha-Tocopheryl Acetate, Magnesium Oxide, Niacinamide, Zinc Oxide, Calcium Pantothenate, Ferrous Fumarate, Pyridoxine Hydrochloride, Vitamin A Palmitate, Riboflavin, Thiamine Mononitrate, Folic Acid, Chromium Chloride, Biotin, Sodium Selenite, Sodium Molybdate, Cyanocobalamin.
CONTAINS SOY, PEANUT AND MILK INGREDIENTS; MANUFACTURED IN A FACILITY THAT PROCESSES EGGS, TREE NUTS AND WHEAT.
This statement from Abbot Nutrition, makers of the pictured above dirty little boxes o' caca: "We believe a nutrition bar can be more than a nutrition bar." Really... what we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is the Frankenfood industry equivalent of lipstick on a pig. This item is only slightly less toxic than a Little Debbie snack cake.
Ingredients:
Soy Protein Nuggets (Soy Protein Isolate, Tapioca Starch, Salt), Peanut Butter Fudge (Corn Syrup, Peanut Butter, Invert Sugar, Sugar, Palm Kernel Oil, Milk Protein, Soy Lecithin, Xanthan Gum, Carob Seed Gum, Salt, Natural Caramel Color, Beta-Carotene, Vanilla Extract, Peanut Oil With Other Natural Flavors), Chocolate Flavored Coating (Sugar, Fractionated Palm Kernel Oil, Cocoa Powder, Whey Powder, Nonfat Milk Powder, Soy Lecithin, Natural Vanilla Flavor), Corn Syrup, Acacia Gum, Fructose Syrup, Peanut Butter, Peanut Flour, Peanuts.
Less Than 2% of the Following: Glycerine, Soy Protein Isolate, Natural Flavor, Salt.
Vitamins And Minerals: Calcium Phosphate, Ascorbic Acid, d-Alpha-Tocopheryl Acetate, Magnesium Oxide, Niacinamide, Zinc Oxide, Calcium Pantothenate, Ferrous Fumarate, Pyridoxine Hydrochloride, Vitamin A Palmitate, Riboflavin, Thiamine Mononitrate, Folic Acid, Chromium Chloride, Biotin, Sodium Selenite, Sodium Molybdate, Cyanocobalamin.
CONTAINS SOY, PEANUT AND MILK INGREDIENTS; MANUFACTURED IN A FACILITY THAT PROCESSES EGGS, TREE NUTS AND WHEAT.
Snub your nose at any item touting itself as nutritious, but whose ingredient list confuses you, bores you to tears, or both.
AND THE WINNER IS...
This quote, from Kellog's: "From nutritious breakfast foods to wholesome snacks, look to us for products and nutrition information that can help you live a healthy lifestyle."
As you peruse the ingredient list, please notice the two separate listings for partially hydrogenated oil (also, sugars and artificial flavors). At least Little Debbie lifts her skirt and shows you her stuff up front. Sure, you'll suffer in the long run, but she doesn't lie, and she can't hurt you without your express permission.
Fire Kellog's from your life; fire them today!
Ingredients
COATING (SUGAR, PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED PALM KERNEL OIL†, COCOA PROCESSED WITH ALKALI, WHEY, NONFAT MILK, SOY LECITHIN, SORBITAN MONOSTEARATE, SALT, ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, POLYSORBATE 60), SOY PROTEIN ISOLATE, CORN SYRUP, INULIN, FRUCTOSE, RICE STARCH, SUGAR, POLYDEXTROSE, CHOCOLATEY CHIPS (SUGAR, PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED PALM KERNEL OIL†, COCOA, COCOA PROCESSED WITH ALKALI, SORBITAN MONOSTEARATE, POLYSORBATE 60, SOY LECITHIN, SALT, ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR), CHOCOLATE, RICE CEREAL (RICE, WHEAT GLUTEN, SUGAR, DEFATTED WHEAT GERM, SALT, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, WHEY, MALT FLAVORING, REDUCED IRON, NIACINAMIDE, PYRIDOXINE HYDROCHLORIDE [VITAMIN B6], ( crying yet?) RIBOFLAVIN [VITAMIN B2], THIAMIN HYDROCHLORIDE [VITAMIN B1], FOLIC ACID, VITAMIN B12), DEXTROSE, CONTAINS TWO PERCENT OR LESS OF CALCIUM CARBONATE, SOYBEAN AND PALM OIL WITH TBHQ FOR FRESHNESS, GLYCERIN, SORBITOL, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, SALT, SOY LECITHIN, ASCORBIC ACID (VITAMIN C), POLYSORBATE 80, D-ALPHA TOCOPHEROL (VITAMIN E), XANTHAN GUM, NIACINAMIDE, ZINC OXIDE, REDUCED IRON, PYRIDOXINE HYDROCHLORIDE (VITAMIN B6), VITAMIN A PALMITATE, RIBOFLAVIN (VITAMIN B2), THIAMIN HYDROCHLORIDE (VITAMIN B1), BHT FOR FRESHNESS, ALMOND FLOUR, PARTIALLY DEFATTED PEANUT FLOUR (wtf is this?), WHEAT STARCH, VITAMIN B12, FOLIC ACID, VITAMIN D.† LESS THAN 0.5g TRANS FAT PER SERVING
Allergen Information
CONTAINS MILK, SOY, WHEAT, ALMOND, AND PEANUT INGREDIENTS. MAY CONTAIN OTHER TREE NUTS.Dietary Exchange Per Serving
2 Carbohydrates, 1 Fat, 1 ProteinTwo gigantic smelly sacks of caca to Kellog's for pretending to care. Any questions?
I always wonder this: how in the hell does something as simple as this (bad) bar or a loaf of (bad) bread have that many "ingredients"and how did these "recipes" come to be?
ReplyDeleteSoylent Green, baybee.
ReplyDeleteYou go girl! I love your honesty and humor. So glad someone shared your blog with me!
ReplyDeleteDeb
You need to ad a share on twitter, facebook, etc. widget on your blog. Because I definitely want to share it on Facebook and have to cut and paste the link in order to do that.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Debbie! I'll do that!
ReplyDeleteagreed. i can't pretend to like you more than starr (she'd hurt you), but i really love reading your blog. smart, witty, laugh out loud (i never abbreviate). makes me want to cook something--except i keep waiting for starr to do that for me. thanks.
ReplyDeleteAnd all those "vitamins" are synthetic and difficult if not impossible for your body to recognize and use. It's like eating plastic fruit!
ReplyDelete